I need help removing her.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
only you would photoshop your dick
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
