I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
