I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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