this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
