she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
