i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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