HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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