Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
