yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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