Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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