Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
