sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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