.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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