did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize