Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i believe in u and ur pee
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
