i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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