We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
