just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
