I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
