There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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