I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
