Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
