note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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