I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
