Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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