Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
