He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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