Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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