i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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