So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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