I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
