i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I deserve this hangover.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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