matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
