hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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