you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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