God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
