Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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