There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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