Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
