Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
