i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
