garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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