Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
