Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
