Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
