Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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