Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
