Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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