i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
