Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
