omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
