just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
