He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
