Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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