Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
