My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
