I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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