my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
