Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
