I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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