Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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