SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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