After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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