Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
