shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
